I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
