Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
