I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
