how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
