Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
