What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
