Welp...herpes.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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