Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
