you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
