It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
