you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
