i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
