I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Houston, we have a squirter
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
