Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
