So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
