ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
