im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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