You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
