need another drink. this is the easiest way
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You can't special order awesome
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
