Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
