Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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