if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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