You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
