Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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