she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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