your thong is hanging out like whoa
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
