I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
