the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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