You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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