i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
