I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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