She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
