I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
