My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
