im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i now understand why vodka
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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