Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
People in love make me want to vomit
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
