He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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