guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
