Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
