How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
