just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
