Cold hands, warm shart.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
