those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
