I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
