I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
