I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
