was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
