Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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