it hurts more in the daytime
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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