Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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